I'd look up to you, only if....

I'd look up to you, but only if you were worth it. I was told that i lack sympathy. I kind of just think that i'm a realist. I don't think that some people deserve to have a second chance, or rather, i don't think that people who've made mistakes and don't learn deserve a second chance. I'm a realist, yet i can be the most optimistic person ever. ( yeas, over exaggerated. ) I once heard that the nicest people, are the meanest people ever. This was said because the people you see, who you think are nice... when they do mean things, you're just so surprised. You're still surprised because people who are nice, you expect only nice things coming from them. I somehow have no sympathy for people who are rude, disrespectful, and are selfish. I look up to people who walk a mile in another person's shoe before they judge. I very much dislike people who... don't even give people a first chance to start with. From a Sarah Dessen book ( Just Listen ), i started to give everything i listen to, at least one chance. How do you know that you're not going to like it if you don't even give it a chance? If everyone deserves a chance, you should give them one... just for a try. Again, i think that taking the risk is so important! Then again, being the hypocrite i am, i am not taking a risk. I'm not risking a friendship that i value so much, because i don't know how it'd be like. It's like the theory... you know when you don't know someone, but then when you meet them, it seels like they appear everywhere? ( i heard about this when i first heard about Darfur. - yeas, i want to do something about it. ) If that someone appears everywhere, there's no way you can just ignore it and continue on. Weird, i suddenly feel like i should write/type about effort... I strongly believe that if someone wants to be in your life, they'll make the effort to stay in it. Somehow recently, it feels like i'm the only one trying to stay in peoples lives. I understand that people are busy achieving goals, applying for scholarships, focusing on waht they want in life...Maybe it' s because i don't know waht i want in my life yet, so i don't know what i'm doing. If maybe this one time, if i didn't try so hard to stay in peoples lives, then... maybe they'll realize that i'm missing! ( yeas, my immature side. ) I honestly hate the feeling when i'm always the one starting up msn conversations, or when i'm calling them to talk to them, for even 5 minutes. Ask yourself, can you take 5 minutes out of your time to tell someone that you care for them? As a friend, or family, anything. Just tell them that you care.... that's all i have to say! .... :) - hearrts.